FAQ in dawah: Marriage of A'ishah

Last updated: 30 June 2025 From the section FAQ in dawah

Age of A'ishah and marriage to Muhammad

  • A'ishah, also spelt A'isha and Ayesha (radiAllahu anha, may Allah be pleased with her), was born around 614 CE in Makkah. Her father is Abu Bakr, Prophet Muhammad's closest companion and later the first caliph of Islam
  • A'ishah reported her own age in authentic hadith as being 6 years old when her marriage contract happened and 9 years old when her marriage was consummated (i.e. first sexual intercourse after marriage) (Sahih al-Bukhari 5134, Sunan an-Nasa'i 3379)
  • Muhammad (pbuh) was around 53 years old
  • Married in Makkah but it was consummated in Madinah, after Prophet migrated around 622/623 CE
  • Remained married for 9 years until Muhammad's death
  • A'ishah was the third and youngest of Muhammad's wives
  • Before her betrothel (engagement) to Muhammad, A'ishah was engaged to Mut'im ibn 'Adi's son Jubayr ibn Mut'im, following the custom of early marriage in 7th century Arabia. But her family broke (annulled) that engagement
  • Following the death of his first wife, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (RAH), an early female convert, Khawlah bint Hakim, suggested Muhammad marry A'ishah. It wasn't Muhammad's idea
  • Khadijah is generally described as Muhammad's most beloved and favoured wife. A'ishah was second
  • Muhammad died in A'ishah's apartment. He took his last breath as he lay in her arms
  • A'ishah lived around 50 years after Muhammad died. She never married again

Age of consent in Islam

  • Traditionally, there's no specific age for consent in Islam
  • Signs of puberty - menstruation for a woman and pubic hair for a man - was the indicator for adulthood in Islam and other cultures around the world
  • Islam gives a criteria for marriage: not to harm anyone. You cannot marry someone you'll harm - physical, psychological, or otherwise. So even an old woman may not be marriage material
  • The 3 criteria for men to consider a female for potential marriage:
    1. Is it socially acceptable (i.e. permitted by the law of the land)?
    2. Has she gone through puberty?
    3. Are they mentally and emotionally capable of raising a family?
  • In Western society, 'age of consent' concept is relatively new historically. Began late 19th century, around 200 years ago
  • In Islam, intimacy (sex) is only allowed between a husband and wife. Nobody else. So we don't have age of consent but age of marriage instead, where consent forms part of that process along with the approval of the female's father or guardian
  • Most Muslim countries now have age of consent from 16 to 18 years old

Concept of marriage in ancient Arabia

  • Reasons for marriage include: strengthening tribal ties and political alliances, a mean of survival in harsh desert environment, men were providers as women didn't work
  • Common for families to have 'marriage contract' when children were born. The boy and girl were promised to each other in marriage after they reached adulthood (or puberty). Particularly common if the union was of direct political significance to the families concerned (as cited by Professor Colin Turner of University of Durham, England, an expert in Islam in the Middle East Studies Department, in his book 'Islam the Basics', p34-35)
  • Either of the youngsters contracted for marriage can choose to annul the marriage, before consummating it if they're not happy to go ahead with it
  • While under marriage contract, the female would stay with her family until she became an adult (i.e. gone through puberty)
  • Marriage between an older man and younger woman was also normal customary practice amongst the bedouins
  • Socially accepted during that era
  • Marriage in Islam is not only about sex. The Qur'an openly states marriage is a spiritual agreement based on love and mercy (Ar-Rum 30:21)

Age of marriage in other cultures throughout history

Allegations of paedophilia against Muhammad (pbuh)

  • Modern day atheists and critics of Islam accuse Muhammad of paedophilia as he was 'an old man' (53 year old) who 'preyed on a child' (aged 9)
  • They accuse Muslims of "playing mental gymnastics" and following "a lustful prophet" who "got divine revelation just in time to justify his actions and desires"
  • Criticism only began in last 200 years in Western society after laws were changed and age of consent was introduced - 1,200 years after Muhammad and A'ishah got married
  • Question: Why didn't anybody, either in Arabia or around the world, raise the issue - especially when it's a grave sin - for over 1,000 years? Because Muhammad never violated the law and social custom of that period around the whole globe
  • If the allegation was true, Muhammad would've been stoned to death. Nobody would've accepted him or his message, especially when he had so many enemies including Jews, Christians, pagans, hypocritical Muslims and even people within his own tribe and family
  • His enemies called him many slandering names - but nobody ever called him a paedophile
  • Back then, life expectancy was in their 30s and early 40s. Unlike today, when life expectancy is around 70s and 80s, three times ancient Arabia. A 9 year old back then is the equivalent to a 25 or 30 year old now. Also, if people in 7th century married around age 20, they are likely to die before their children became 10 years old, leaving behind many young orphans. How can a society operate like that?
  • A'ishah's father is Abu Bakr (RA), Prophet Muhammad's closest companion. A best friend knows more things about his friend than even his family sometime. So would Abu Bakr give his daughter to marriage to his best friend if he suspected any foul play?
  • In general, nobody cares more about their children than a parent. And they won't give their child in marriage unless they're ready and and they see you're fit to marry their child
  • Muhammad married multiple women. A'ishah was the only virgin he married. The rest were widows and divorcees. His first two wives were older than him. If a person has paedophilic tendency, they wouldn't marry people their age but instead look to marry much younger people and all virgins, especially when their society allows them to do so. But Muhammad didn't do that at all
  • Muhammad was married to his first wife Khadijah, who was older than him, for 25 years until she died. He then remained an unmarried widower for 3 years. Why didn't he marry a younger women instead of Khadijah or even straightaway after Khadijah passed away?
  • Why did Muhammad wait 3 years after being engaged to A'ishah if he was a paedophile? Someone with such vile motive wants more younger victims. But the prophet waited 3 years for A'ishah to reach adulthood
  • A'ishah was a child when she was engaged to Muhammad. But she stayed with her own family until she became an adult (i.e. gone through puberty) and then moved in with Muhammad
  • Islamic morals come from the Qur'an. All prophet's marriages, including A'ishah's, was in accordance to the Qur'anic teaching
  • Their marriage was consensual
  • Similar marriage occurred in other cultures including Jewish and Christian traditions
  • Even today, legal age of consent or marriage differ country to country. Some say 16, some 18, some even 14 (e.g. Italy, some state in America)
  • Western society today allows earlier consent to intercourse but not marriage. It's also okay for a female to have multiple sex partners throughout her life as long as it's consensual. Abortion is normal. Many single mothers have been abandoned by 'partners'
  • Look at the morals of your own country and people before criticising others
  • In light of the evidence, Prophet Muhammad didn't commit paedophilia as the age of consent, age of puberty, age of adulthood were all at the same time as age of puberty. And Muhammad consummated the marriage several years after the betrothal when A'ishah was technically an adult, when she was a woman, according to the customs and historical context of the day

A'ishah the scholar and role model

  • A'ishah never spoke ill about Muhammad either during marriage or after. Nor after his death. She had plenty of time and opportunity to do this if she had experienced any abuse, physical or emotional
  • She wasn't like other people. Her IQ was higher than the average person. She was smarter than a person of her own age back then and she was very knowledgeable in Islam
  • During a time in Islam when women were not expected or wanted to contribute outside the household, A'ishah delivered public speeches, became directly involved in a war and even battles, and helped both men and women to understand the practices of Muhammad
  • She recited over 2,000 hadiths (sayings and actions of the Prophet) on various topics such as Muhammad's private life, inheritance, prayer, Islamic law, and women's issues. Her intellect and knowledge in various subjects, including poetry and medicine, were highly praised by early scholars such as al-Zuhri and her student Urwa ibn al-Zubayr
  • If a person was physically and emotionally violated, especially since childhood, the trauma would have scarred them for life
  • She went on to become one of the greatest scholars of Islam and transmitter of knowledge of the sunnah

Islam's stance on child grooming

  • The punishment for child sexual exploitation in Shari'ah (Islamic law), regardless of the religious or ethnic background of the perpetrators, can be as fatal as the death penalty
  • Allah warns people that He hears their evil thoughts and secret talks (Az-Zukhruf 43:80)

"Can you marry a 9-year-old now?"

  • No
  • Applying the Islamic no harm principle and 3 criterias for choosing a spouse (i.e. legally permitted, physically ready, emotionally ready), we can argue many people in their 20s are not even ready for marriage
  • We need to apply the customs of our own societies. The legal age of marriage in England is 18 (since 2023 - previously it was 16)
  • In vast majority of Muslim countries the marriageable age is between 16 and 18
  • In Islam marrying at 9 years old is not obligatory
  • There's no set age in Shari'ah
  • Don't apply 'presentism'. A young woman today, her upbringing, mind, social life, life expectancy, etc., shouldn't be compared to how things were operating 1,400 years ago in the desert. This is called 'Fallacy of Presentism' (applying morals of today to the past)
  • Women are different. Different women will mature at different situation and environment. The realities of time and place have to be kept in mind as well
  • Easy to judge other cultures and other times using our distorted lens
  • Hundreds of years ago there was no such things as primary school or secondary school. Most kids were involved in working from very young age and mixed with adults, thus growing psychologically more faster than today. Society encouraged them to get married, there was no such thing as chasing a career and delaying your marital life unlike today
  • Prophet's marriage to A'ishah was appropriate and not based on lust or abuse but upon their shared spiritual mission to deliver the teachings of Islam to humanity
  • Until 150 - 200 years ago, previous societies encouraged women to marry when they reached puberty and have many children
  • Karen Armstrong, a scholar of religion who wrote the book 'Muhammad: A prophet for our time', said there was "no impropriety in Muhammad's betrothal to Aisha. Marriages conducted in absentia to seal an alliance were often contracted at this time between adults and minors who were even younger than Aisha. This practice continued in Europe until well into early modern period. There was no question of consummating the marriage until Aisha reached puberty, when she would be married off like any other girl"
  • If we condemn Muhammad, we need to condemn vast majority of people in history for whom adulthood began at puberty